*Almost* 25 Lessons from the South

A few Things I've "Learned" from living in the Down Here for 1/2 of my life. (Seven years.)

1. People down here have this odd veggie called Okra
2. Jefferson Davis was our first President.
3. Hush Puppies are not made out of dog.
4. The south shall rise again.
5. Okra is slimy if you cook it the wrong way.
6. Salt is good on Watermelon. (NOT)
7. You get looked at odd if you ask for a shopping cart. (Its called a buggy!)
8. Do NOT try to say "Y'all" within the first two years of living down here. (at least, not in public.)
9. If you come from the north, then when you mis-pronounce a word in the south, People think that it is just your "Yankee accent".
10. Okra is not Slimy if you cook it the correct way.
11. If you live in the south long enough, the when you mis-pronounce a word up north, they think you've just picked up a southern accent.
12. In other Countries, a Yankee is an American. Down south, a Yankee is a Northerner. Up north, someone from the northeast is a Yankee. In the northeast a Yankee is a person from New Hampshire.
    
13. Never even think about using the words Honest and Abe in the same sentence.
14. Grits are good with Brown sugar, but only Yankees will eat them that way.
15. "Hey" is a more common greeting then "Hello"
16. You don't push buttons down here, you "Mash" them.
17. Never talk about "THE" war with a southerner if you don't have more then an hour or two.
18. If you want Real, Hot, Tea, Then you have to say "I would like a cup of Hot Tea". Simply asking for a cup of tea will get you a way too sweet, still slightly warm, cup of Iced "tea".
19. People who do not like BBQ (such a myself) have something wrong with them.
20. If you, as a yank, are trying to spy in the south, or you don't want a pop quiz on what your side is in the war between the states, and someone mentions a food you have not heard of, act like you know what they are talking about.
21. There was no such thing as a civil war.
22. There was a war of Northern aggression, though.
23. A southerner accent is not near as bad as they want you to think. (unless they talk really fast, which is rare.)
24. (fire) Ants are not the sort of thing kids should play with.